For context I’m 22 so this is a long time ago for me now, and being so removed from it leads me to ask some questions, and I still am yet to figure out answers to them
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I think seeing myself as a man ever, is stupid… like omg I didn’t even make it through puberty, and I already knew that this is not the role I’d play in society so I didn’t really end up socializing as such I think… I mean even though I only started HRT at 19, it’s still so different…
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I hate how conservative media is fetishizing trans people, I mean, especially because they tend to gravitate towards late transitioners, and it’s weird hearing that rhetoric and applying it to myself at 13, a 13yo as a sex object is so icky and disgusting, and I don’t think that’s really in the realm of 13yo in a way… sure they’re discovering their sexuality, but even then it’s not… idk
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How do people repress… idk… just never understood that… like what you just… try not to think about it… for years… I can’t not think about it for a week, and I’m on HRT and transitioning, idk I can’t imagine it otherwise
Ok so lets say you have a shitty life but you have some ways to cope. And there’s something that might make your life not shitty. But it will make your life shitty in other ways. And it may be harder to find ways to cope.
What people can’t understand until they experience it themselves is that the copes stop working and also you go insane. But I can’t blame them, since I am one of those people.