Then, by some miracle, I found a friend. I was genuinely happy in the last couple of weeks so I stopped being active on here.
But before we could meet irl, she (presumably) killed herself.
So I came back to be sad on here and one of the first people to reply to me made fun of me.
Good to back at this cesspit I suppose…
I’m sorry that you lost your friend, and got the rudeness after. Everything makes it so hard to keep going through the vulnerability of putting yourself into others by being open to vision and thoughts and abuse. It’s genuinely all very difficult to keep doing it but its eventually worth it.
How do I even begin to try and find other friends, I was anticipating us meeting way too much to just forget about it. I still regularly check her discord just in case she logs in or something.
But at the same time, I can’t be lonely if I am to survive this whole being trans thing.
I think after the pain, it’s natural to want to be alone. And it makes a lot of sense to keep the line of connection open, because she’s important to you. That doesn’t get lost, but eventually, you just see everyone out there and you decide that you want to join in and see what happens.
But see I don’t want to be alone, it’s just that the fact that I had a friend at all is a miracle as I said. I don’t know how to find more.
She did say I really needed find bitches tho. Like friends that will actually see me as a woman. But it’s impossible, like I don’t know how I would so it.
I still hope she failed, the only confirmation I have is her bio. I think she didn’t want to talk to me about it because when she decided to do so last week, I kinda talked her out of it. After that she said she would get anti depressants in a couple weeks so I trusted that she would try to hold on until then. I guess not.
I think it’s a good instinct to keep that hope.
And as far as finding something social, you’re on an obscure private forum for trannies, you just show up and people will treat you as who you say you are, like you won’t just be seen as a woman but you will be a woman who’s around for some pretty out there stuff. Like people are out here using diabetes medication to encourage specific fat redistribution, I’m gonna be posting a really unusual voice training theory tomorrow, there’ll be things to be a part of, and you’ll have things you want to bring people into!!