especially if they’re good at accessorizing too
It is a skill you can learn (or be taught).
There are plenty out there willing to offer advice.
i’ve been trying to learn and i think i’ve been getting a bit better but it’s hard and doesn’t come naturally to me. i always feel like something’s a little off or that im doing something wrong
Are we talking casual outfits or professional?
Also what’s your body type (slim, average, overweight, etc.).
i’d say slim and mostly casual outfits. at work i androgyny mode
i feel like i have a general idea of what works for me but sometimes i want to experiment more or wear cooler stuff. i think i struggle especially with accessories and like little details
K, a versatile and customizable outfit that works for a slim body would be a pair of high waisted yoga pants (really high, like reaching well past your belly button) and a cropped sweatshirt.
Make sure the yoga pants:
- are a dark color and on the thicker side - helps with tucking
- have a tight stomach section (not a corset, per se, but the elastic should compress a bit) - helps with accentuating hips
Sweatshirt can be literally anything, but:
- being cropped helps with the lines of the body and, again, accentuates an hourglass figure (or giving the illusion of one)
- make sure the crop is right below the top of the pants (so no skin unless stretching) - This helps with confidence as showing belly skin is definitely something we trannies are scared to do
- it helps if the top is a light color to compliment the dark of the pants
The reason I’m recommending this is because it’s an outfit that reads very feminine (like half the cis women you’ll see in a mall dress similar to this) without showing a ton of skin and hiding features that generally we struggle with. Additionally, again, it’s very versatile so you can swap out the top rather freely, and almost any set of accessories will go with it.
As far as accessories go, the important thing to realize is most accessories go with any outfit (within reason, obviously). What I mean is, accessories don’t really go with the outfit, per se, but with each other. For instance, a simple gold chain, a gold bracelet, one or two nice rings, and some gold diamond earrings work well together (not actually gold and diamonds, btw, fakes from Amazon are fine). However, a silver chain, gold bracelets, and kitschy earrings will look weird (if you’re going for an avant-garde look you can basically do whatever, but that’s hard to pull off).
i’ve found that leggings don’t really work for me because i have no hips. i usually try either for like a rectangular silhouette or more a line with wide leg jeans. i like layering generally also but it’s getting a bit warm for that
with accessories i feel like there’s a lot too like stacking necklaces or the type of bracelet and rings. small things like adding pops of color or sock length or rolling up jeans or tucking a part of the shirt in seems tricky to me too. it just seems to me that super fashionable women are really intentional about every part of the outfit in a way that i haven’t figured out yet.
It’s honestly a lot less intentional than you would think. The more comfortable you get with stuff the more you kind of just “feel it.” Like the half tucked in shirt, or stacked necklaces, a lot of times I’ll throw on an outfit and be like “hmm” in the mirror right before I go out and do something extra to it. Usually, it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but that’s something you kinda just discover you get good at over time. Trying to be intentional with it from the jump will drive you crazy as those kinds of things really are unique to every person.
Leggings wise, that’s why I suggested the high waisted ones.
Something like this really helps to give the illusion of hips. Also, I have to stress here, that plenty of women struggle with feeling like they have tiny hips, which is why shit like this was invented; it’s not like they did it to help us trannies out. Additionally, a loose top gives your upper body more “width” without making you look “wide,” if that makes sense; it basically looks pleasing without making it seem like you have giant shoulders. Finally, if you really are lacking in the hip department (or feel you are), you can always get some hip pads. These, again, go great with thick dark leggings since they hide everything well and look natural (bonus, they also make hip pads that help with tucking and compressing the stomach, but good luck going to the bathroom with those, lol).
Edit: Also, if you really are against leggings, a nice high waisted a-line (I suggest this a lot, but it really is a gamechanger for women with small hips) midi dress will do absolute wonders.
Thank you for the advice! Yeah I definitely need to just try and experiment with accessories more. I think my style also leans more minimal scandinavian or like baggy streetwear sometimes so that’s another reason why i don’t wear leggings too much. I’ve been trying to branch out with more feminine/romantic a line dresses recently though so that’s a good suggestion!
real
Yeah
Also helps that they don’t have gigamoid shoulders that make pretty much any type of women’s clothing look like shit
real there’s so much stuff i wanna wear but then i try it and it looks awful on me
Off the shoulder and cold shoulder tops help to break up the lines created by broader shoulders.
With the right top you can even make broad shoulders work for you.
I feel like everytime I have to dress myself to girlmode I’m about to have an anxiety attack over clothes. How the fuck do people do this daily and still look good.
yeah same it always looks a little weird to me and i feel like ppl are gonna judge
I’m constantly scared of being judged in public which makes it so much harder
The general idea is to have a few go-to outfits and then modify them as you go (having someone help you out with these first few isn’t a bad idea). Once you get a sense of what looks good on you, you’ll become better at spotting things in the wild that’ll work for you.
From there it’s just experimenting and expanding the wardrobe.
I think my problem is I got those couple outfits that I think I look good in and have been terrified to keep experimenting, like I buy new clothes I think I’ll look good in and could use then never wear them because I’m scared of going out in them.
Just start small.
If it’s a top and pants combo, get a different top in the same style (like if it’s a sweatshirt, try the same pants with a thin off the shoulder sweater).
If it’s a dress, again, try and get one in a similar style (a-line maxi dress? get an a-line midi dress in the same color).
Additionally, try throwing layers on top of a current outfit (cropped jackets go with basically everything).
Again, very small steps that keep the core of the original outfit. This lets you build confidence and understanding about yourself, what you like, and what looks good. Eventually, the outfit will have changed so much that it’s a brand new one.
Finally, try out bolder outfits in “safe” spaces. For instance, early in my transition I’d test run outfits in therapy while keeping my day-to-day stuff the same. If I liked how I looked/moved in an outfit there, it went into the rotation.
I’m too scared to wear anything with a skirt in public sadly. But thank you. I think Ive mostly been doing this automatically but it’s still hard.
I don’t really have a safe place to try outfits with tho.
A nice midi a-line skirt (or dress) is actually surprisingly simple, easy to pull off, and quite flattering. I was scared at first too, but now I feel better in skirts/dresses than I do in pants. It definitely takes a bit of willpower to push past the initial fear, because a skirt “feels” so unapologetically feminine, but once you do it a few times you should feel a lot more confident with it.
As far as safe spaces, this might be intrusive, but do you have irl friends and/or family that are accepting, or are you essentially alone on an island? Also, where do you live (broadly, obviously, like which state or country).
I think I have some dresses in those sizes but all my skirts are mini skirts because I’m stupid. I do really want to wear them because they’re so feminine, I used to as a kid lots.
I have no friends near me unfortunately and my family are supportive in theory but in practice are my harshest critics. I live alone too so it’s not easy. I live in Australia so it’s broadly safe.
Yeah, I definitely went through a mini-skirt phase as well, lol. I would say go thrifting to find some midi skirts (or just wear a dress with a top over it; it actually works great if you layer it right).
That said, a safe space is important, and it sounds like your family might not be the best bet there. Silly as it may sound, fitttts is actually not the worst place to experiment, people are generally nice there. Also, it could be worthwhile to look into lgbtq+ organizations around you where you could go to meet people. Yes, any irl lgbtq+ space is likely to have some degree of cringe people, but a lot of them do mean well (you just gotta make sure you get good at telling the good ones from the shitty ones, but that’s just the case with all people I suppose).
If you live in/near a large enough city, you might also be able to find queer hobby spaces (book clubs especially are a great place to meet other queer people/women who are generally very friendly). Bear with me, I know, but something like a free zine making workshop is actually a wonderful place to meet friendly and accepting people. I’d stay away from traditional “nerdy” hobbies for now as those are really hit or miss with who attends; it’s fine to enjoy them, obviously, but the kind of people that go to an MTG or 40k event are, uh, not always the most trans inclusive (believe me, I play 40k).
I realize I’m basically telling you to “just make friends!”, but the reality is that the being in a group allows you to feel safer, become more confident in yourself, and discover irl third spaces where you can be yourself.
ah every day i’m taunted by the many people in my city who can actually dress
same there’s so many fashionable ppl where i live like even if i look past the body mogging the fashion mogging is still bad
Same. People tell me I’m stylish, but I have massive impostor syndrome.
yeah! like i get compliments on clothes i wear a lot but im never sure if like maybe in their head they think im wearing it wrong or if its backhanded
No, I don’t have that. I know they mean it when they say it. I also can recognise then that the outfit was actually good. The issue is that I think that it was just luck and just because I made one nice fit it doesn’t mean the next one will be good.
oh i see thats rough i guess eventually it’ll get better though. especially if u can recognize if the outfit is good or bad i feel like that helps a lot
I recognise it, but I still doubt myself. I think it’s more of a psychological issue than a skill issue.
It will get even more stressful once I try to make a deliberate girlmode outfit. I’m building on one right now, the sandals arrived today, but I’m still missing a top.
good luck! i’m sure it’ll look nice 🫂
I’ll post it here once it’s done, you will be able to judge for yourself :D
