A nice midi a-line skirt (or dress) is actually surprisingly simple, easy to pull off, and quite flattering. I was scared at first too, but now I feel better in skirts/dresses than I do in pants. It definitely takes a bit of willpower to push past the initial fear, because a skirt “feels” so unapologetically feminine, but once you do it a few times you should feel a lot more confident with it.
As far as safe spaces, this might be intrusive, but do you have irl friends and/or family that are accepting, or are you essentially alone on an island? Also, where do you live (broadly, obviously, like which state or country).
I think I have some dresses in those sizes but all my skirts are mini skirts because I’m stupid. I do really want to wear them because they’re so feminine, I used to as a kid lots.
I have no friends near me unfortunately and my family are supportive in theory but in practice are my harshest critics. I live alone too so it’s not easy. I live in Australia so it’s broadly safe.
Yeah, I definitely went through a mini-skirt phase as well, lol. I would say go thrifting to find some midi skirts (or just wear a dress with a top over it; it actually works great if you layer it right).
That said, a safe space is important, and it sounds like your family might not be the best bet there. Silly as it may sound, fitttts is actually not the worst place to experiment, people are generally nice there. Also, it could be worthwhile to look into lgbtq+ organizations around you where you could go to meet people. Yes, any irl lgbtq+ space is likely to have some degree of cringe people, but a lot of them do mean well (you just gotta make sure you get good at telling the good ones from the shitty ones, but that’s just the case with all people I suppose).
If you live in/near a large enough city, you might also be able to find queer hobby spaces (book clubs especially are a great place to meet other queer people/women who are generally very friendly). Bear with me, I know, but something like a free zine making workshop is actually a wonderful place to meet friendly and accepting people. I’d stay away from traditional “nerdy” hobbies for now as those are really hit or miss with who attends; it’s fine to enjoy them, obviously, but the kind of people that go to an MTG or 40k event are, uh, not always the most trans inclusive (believe me, I play 40k).
I realize I’m basically telling you to “just make friends!”, but the reality is that the being in a group allows you to feel safer, become more confident in yourself, and discover irl third spaces where you can be yourself.
I’ll try fits, I’ve posted to it a few times on Reddit but posting pictures online always makes me nervous.
I’ve attended a lot of different queer events since I came out and I’ve only ever been rejected from those spaces. I don’t really know why but they don’t like me, other trans women especially are always really hostile to me so I’ve not found anything there. It’s why 4tran has become the closest thing I have to having a community.
I’m really sorry you’ve had bad experiences with queer events; that’s terrible people were cruel to you. I guess all I can suggest on that front is to keep trying, but I get how demoralizing that can feel when you’ve had such bad luck already.
I’m too scared to wear anything with a skirt in public sadly. But thank you. I think Ive mostly been doing this automatically but it’s still hard.
I don’t really have a safe place to try outfits with tho.
A nice midi a-line skirt (or dress) is actually surprisingly simple, easy to pull off, and quite flattering. I was scared at first too, but now I feel better in skirts/dresses than I do in pants. It definitely takes a bit of willpower to push past the initial fear, because a skirt “feels” so unapologetically feminine, but once you do it a few times you should feel a lot more confident with it.
As far as safe spaces, this might be intrusive, but do you have irl friends and/or family that are accepting, or are you essentially alone on an island? Also, where do you live (broadly, obviously, like which state or country).
I think I have some dresses in those sizes but all my skirts are mini skirts because I’m stupid. I do really want to wear them because they’re so feminine, I used to as a kid lots.
I have no friends near me unfortunately and my family are supportive in theory but in practice are my harshest critics. I live alone too so it’s not easy. I live in Australia so it’s broadly safe.
Yeah, I definitely went through a mini-skirt phase as well, lol. I would say go thrifting to find some midi skirts (or just wear a dress with a top over it; it actually works great if you layer it right).
That said, a safe space is important, and it sounds like your family might not be the best bet there. Silly as it may sound, fitttts is actually not the worst place to experiment, people are generally nice there. Also, it could be worthwhile to look into lgbtq+ organizations around you where you could go to meet people. Yes, any irl lgbtq+ space is likely to have some degree of cringe people, but a lot of them do mean well (you just gotta make sure you get good at telling the good ones from the shitty ones, but that’s just the case with all people I suppose).
If you live in/near a large enough city, you might also be able to find queer hobby spaces (book clubs especially are a great place to meet other queer people/women who are generally very friendly). Bear with me, I know, but something like a free zine making workshop is actually a wonderful place to meet friendly and accepting people. I’d stay away from traditional “nerdy” hobbies for now as those are really hit or miss with who attends; it’s fine to enjoy them, obviously, but the kind of people that go to an MTG or 40k event are, uh, not always the most trans inclusive (believe me, I play 40k).
I realize I’m basically telling you to “just make friends!”, but the reality is that the being in a group allows you to feel safer, become more confident in yourself, and discover irl third spaces where you can be yourself.
Thank you, I’ll look at getting some midi skirts.
I’ll try fits, I’ve posted to it a few times on Reddit but posting pictures online always makes me nervous.
I’ve attended a lot of different queer events since I came out and I’ve only ever been rejected from those spaces. I don’t really know why but they don’t like me, other trans women especially are always really hostile to me so I’ve not found anything there. It’s why 4tran has become the closest thing I have to having a community.
I’m really sorry you’ve had bad experiences with queer events; that’s terrible people were cruel to you. I guess all I can suggest on that front is to keep trying, but I get how demoralizing that can feel when you’ve had such bad luck already.