Operation Hel

What I’ll try to do is a gamble, but it’s worth trying. It’s the ultimate prize which is living. I believe that ROGD is curable, at least in my case. My theory is that succeful ROGD detrans are an example of survivorship bias. The fact that they were able to detrans their mind, is because they left this identity all together. There’s no reason for them to go back, so they won’t report that they were able to successfully rep, because such action would mean that they didn’t really detrans their mind.

Here’s my plan: I’ll have to minimize and completely cut off any trans media or representation online. And force myself to stop thinking about it. My brain has to forget. I remember that I had a phase when I kind of forgot about femboyism snd stuff. I believe that the same is possible with ROGD. ROGD has a certain vulnerability which is having memories pre-dysphoria. If I can utilize my life memories from pre-dysphoria and certain identities which I had, I can return the state of my mind. For example, I used to really identify with Okabe Rintaro from steins gate before I had dysphoria. I have to embrace this identity. It is a backdoor into my male self. I don’t have to be overly masculine, it is okay if I just stay a twink. I’ll take hrt but when physical dysphoria is over, I’ll stop.

All of this of course will mean, that this will be my last post (if it goes successfully) I’ll hold a grace period in which you can all say farewell or tell me that this shit won’t work, but it is my only true option. If I fail, then I’ll probably return, idk how long that is going to take tho.

This journey will require me to completely abolish any kind of thought about the troon cognitohazard active inside my mind. I basically have to forget everything. Which means that I won’t even be able to document my journey or how I feel, I have to forget that too.

Operation Hel will require me to delude myself, perform a mind-leap. I’ll have to think that I’m like Okabe Rintaro, just like I used to before ROGD. This is my only backdoor, that series, that identity, it carries so much meaning it makes my heart burn. This feeling is beyond dysphoria. The organization is watching. El Psy Kongroo.