I feel like thats not enough reason. I just wanna wear lolita dresses and mary janes and dye my hair and look pretty and cute in skirts, and try different makeup styles. But its all so superficial. I dont have an inner woman essence, i literally just feel like a failed male tbhon but hrt will make me prettier hopefully so i wanna take it. My dysphoria is not debilitating, and was late onset (post 20) so i feel like a fraud. I dont even hate being a guy that much, it has a lot of advantages that i would miss like being invisible. I feel like this feeling will never leave me though, so maybe i should just take it. I would if i was alone and noone would ever know, but it would eventually come out, and i dont have a strong enough reason that i would be able to give anyone who asked. Which makes me think its not meant to be.

• what if i end up ugly and it was all in vain. Id probably kms atp I keep flip flopping…