memories of childhood are fuzzy and i only know the details of the traumatic moments. there’s a lot of thouse though so i have endless childhood memories anyways so it’s fine :>. but i think i came out around less than a year after i knew. and my mom accepted me, for about a week. then it turns out it was a test or something? she saw i was happy to be gendered as a woman and concluded i’m AGP faketrans because of how much it made me smile. yes she said AGP i heard it from her before i heard of it online. then we didn’t talk about it for a year, then she brought it up to check if i gave up on the delusion yet and i didn’t say much because she already abused me for many years before any of this so i knew this was going to be more bait from her to start a fight. so she lashed out, told me i will 41 (yes she said it like that) anyways if i stay trans so she won’t care about me. then she used me being trans to defend herself when it came to CPS and the rest of the family sometimes questioning the sheer extent of her abuse. it always worked lmao just told them im a tranny and then her abuse wasn’t the topic anymore. i diy-d the moment i turned 18 because i was prepared. after that it doesn’t matter anymore but yeah that’s when i knew and why i was forced to rep for like 5 or 6 years. in that time i self-isolated in school and talked to literally no one, i just couldn’t deal with having to be a man to everyone else,
I can’t think of anyone who’d deserve a childhood like this, yeah… especially since there’s very little kids can do to that would make them evil and deserving of bad…
idk I often feel like people will assume I deserved to be abused because I’m a tranny so it feels reassuring that it started way before I ever said anything about that… idk it’s like, even if I am irredeemable for what I am I was still innocent when this started
it feels horrible to have to downplay how transphobic she was though, because every time I’m worried they will flip to support her and say everything else was justified too because tranny. maybe most people wouldn’t just because of how weird it all was but my family back then always defended her with that so idk
I get how you feel. My mother also became extremely transphobic and cruel towards me when she figured out I was trans and it’s something I don’t really talk to a lot of people about - especially cis people. I just think it’s one of those things where you can really only tell other trannies about it because they’re the only people who are actually going to listen and empathise with you. It’s fucking horrible that cis people lack that much empathy for us but it’s something I’ve basically just come to terms with
yeah it’s hard to though… especially since i never knew a single other trans person irl
Yeah I understand it was the same for me for a long, long time
it feels crazy now that i moved to Budapest a few months ago kuz i see someone i assume is a trans woman every week or so but i just know no one and obviously not going to approach strangers for clocking them it’s just silly ig
Maybe you could try joining some online tranny groups for the city you live in? I imagine there’s probably got to be a few and I think it’s a good way to meet some trannies in your area without having to approach someone randomly
well i don’t know where to look for this do i just like google it or something?? do i just google trans budapest and find something?? if that’s all it took then it’s so embarassing i didn’t even try
I say give it and try and see what you can find