i get that mutual suffering is like a horrible way to make a friendship, im glad my friends keep me around and one of them wants me to go out with a group sometime to a rave, but like, do you find it harder to make friends even in fields of mutual interest or understanding? idk friends with me were never a strong suit i just get adopted by groups a lot.
i get it, it took me a while to admit to myself i was lonelier that way tho. some of my friends would do a lot for me because ive done a lot for them. i just always thought it was what a person should do, but i guess i was always their friend. i hope you can find someone you can be more comfortable with!