Same. If I don’t get dysphoric in my dreams, then I’m fine for a bit after waking up untill reality sets and I start feelings extremely bad, but it depends. Same thing happens at night while sitting in the dark, I’m quite fine then, detached from myself. It is mostly related to how I perceive myself as, reality affects that perception. If I see myself completely as a man I get suicidal, usually I’m in the middle but sometimes I get sparks of honfidence by looking at myself in soft lighting and stuff.