i picked one i liked and found cute when i was like 13. it wasn’t really clocky, kinda grandma-coded at worst. but after years of only ever hearing it to be humiliated, ridiculed and abused it grew to feel alien. but i also got used to having no name (my family tended to call me titles like child, son, viper, various other insulting animals, etc) so i just picked the mosts popular women’s name in the year i was born in for the case i’d tell someone and they might use it. kinda turned out pointless but that’s how i picked it.
it’s alright. at this point it’s my fault, don’t worry about it. i just stay silent in the few cases i talk to someone and they tell me their name expecting mine. i might get away with saying it now, but i can’t let myself risk it. mostly because even thinking i’ll do that makes me terrified and pretty sure i’d have a panic attack if i tried. like i do every time i try to go into any clothing store.
i picked one i liked and found cute when i was like 13. it wasn’t really clocky, kinda grandma-coded at worst. but after years of only ever hearing it to be humiliated, ridiculed and abused it grew to feel alien. but i also got used to having no name (my family tended to call me titles like child, son, viper, various other insulting animals, etc) so i just picked the mosts popular women’s name in the year i was born in for the case i’d tell someone and they might use it. kinda turned out pointless but that’s how i picked it.
I’m so sorry. You deserved better. 🫂
it’s alright. at this point it’s my fault, don’t worry about it. i just stay silent in the few cases i talk to someone and they tell me their name expecting mine. i might get away with saying it now, but i can’t let myself risk it. mostly because even thinking i’ll do that makes me terrified and pretty sure i’d have a panic attack if i tried. like i do every time i try to go into any clothing store.