And this is genuinely so fucking weird to me. Why did I feel like that? Why did I feel like my shoulders were small? Why did I train to make them wider? Why did I feel I wasn’t manly enough when I was always taller and wider than most of my peers? Why did it only click inside me that I’m trans when I was 17?

Am I just some fucking mentally ill larper?

  • its_ogre
    2·
    6 days ago

    This is one of my reasons for feeling faketrans. I was playing video games with a friend years ago and one of my random teammates said I sounded like a girl, then my friend said “yeah ogre, you do sound like a girl.” I actually got kinda sad from this and have no idea why if I’m really trans. In school I was bullied for being a skinny faggot and guys would wrap their fingers around my dainty 14cm wrists and this would make me feel bad. I also tried to gym maxx for a year but literally had zero motivation and gave up.

    I don’t really know what to make of these examples. If I really was trutrans wouldn’t these situations be affirming and make me feel better (I mean maybe not the bullying but definitely the voice one)? Not to mention the fact that I only started questioning and got on hrt at 21 it seems likely I’m not actually trutrans. I’m not getting off e though 🤷‍♀️

  • staranise3969
    1·
    6 days ago

    what? no? i always felt fuzzy inside when someone said that one thing i did or have was girly?

  • chimpmoder
    1·
    6 days ago

    i always lamented how my voice hadn’t dropped enough. what a fool i was

  • Cambion
    1·
    6 days ago

    Same. I wished to be wider and taller before I realized I was trans, I even started to do pull-ups at some point.