Recently I’ve had easter break from highschool and stuff, and while I’ve experienced some dysphoric episodes, most of the time I was feeling pretty neutral and didn’t actively feel dysphoric. But maybe that was due to the fact that I was avoiding observing myself in the mirror in a conscious way, and when I did I did in soft lighting conditions and not thinking about my masculinity. I’ve also been playing videogames and watching YouTube all the time, so most of the time I was detached from reality. But the fact that I didn’t feel constant dysphoria, makes me feel like I’m faketrans. Some users here are actively suicidal and depressed, meanwhile I had a blissful week of almost doing nothing and being a bum, not even experiencing much dysphoria. I genuinely think I don’t belong here, I don’t suffer enough. If I’m autistic in any way, all of this might be just a hyperfixation and I’m not really trans. There was an user recently complaining about being true fake trans due to acquiring reverse dysphoria, I’m scared of such fate which makes me more hesitant to take HRT, but back when I was feeling super bad I’ve sworn to myself I’ll take it no matter what.
normal, avoiding all possible reminders of the body i inhabit is one of my most effective copes
So could I rep like this? I’ll see once I come back into real life, but probably nothing will change as always, and I’ll start feeling it again. Due to my shit memory I always get fooled like this, that it is over.
If you’re rich you could hikikomorimaxx, but that is a pretty miserable rep long term.
It’s normal. Dysphoria comes mostly from you seeing and feeling how wrong your body is - when I forget that I exist and don’t think about having physical body I get no dysphoria at all. During long weeks of dissociation I can completely forget about feeling bad with my body and just vegetate. That’s why sometimes I’m making conscious effort to think more and don’t get too comfortable.
yeah, that’s how i cope with dysphoria. it really helps me forget about it, but i’ve also wasted years of my life just sitting indoors and playing games instead of having an actual life + i started struggling with uni since i began avoiding that too
