even in “alternative” spaces, im so far from normal that its just downright depressing. doesnt matter where i am really, i always feel out of place.

its like i lack something fundamental to forming connections with other people. i can talk at length with people just fine, but its always like theres some barrier that prevents me from actually ever befriending anyone.

maybe im just a boring person, or perhaps people find me offputting. i tend to think its the prior- no one really likes talking to me. i am not a relatable person to most people, for reasons i do not understand.

either way it does contribute to this feeling that im a broken person in some regards. i genuinely just feel kind of retarded, like i dont know how to socialize quite right.

on the surface level, outside of being a tranny, i seem normal enough. so why do i feel so disconnected from everyone then?