even in “alternative” spaces, im so far from normal that its just downright depressing. doesnt matter where i am really, i always feel out of place.
its like i lack something fundamental to forming connections with other people. i can talk at length with people just fine, but its always like theres some barrier that prevents me from actually ever befriending anyone.
maybe im just a boring person, or perhaps people find me offputting. i tend to think its the prior- no one really likes talking to me. i am not a relatable person to most people, for reasons i do not understand.
either way it does contribute to this feeling that im a broken person in some regards. i genuinely just feel kind of retarded, like i dont know how to socialize quite right.
on the surface level, outside of being a tranny, i seem normal enough. so why do i feel so disconnected from everyone then?
Perhaps it could be a disorder of some kind. I felt a similar kind of way before my PTSD diagnosis. It’s hard to say.
therapist told me i likely have cptsd, but nothing in my history bad really seemed so bad relative to others to warrant such a thing
it’s really not good to compare trauma like that.
