Perhaps these aren’t even OCD thoughts but something to actually be concerned about?

There was a time when I temporarily detransitioned out of safety and during that time over the span of 4 months there were 2 instances where I thought I wanted to detransition and that I’m actually a cis man and I genuinely convinced myself for a day im actually a cis man and not a woman. Both times were related to me losing my family and not being able to be a parent and that caused me to spiral into me hating HRT because I thought it ruined my chances at a normal life even though I really like the effects of it now after 7 months on estrogen. I think I also thought I wouldn’t be living as myself if I detransitioned but I don’t exactly remember and that could easily be a false memory so take that with a grain of salt.

I haven’t had any regrets taking HRT so far, I did have a couple of mornings where I thought “hmm that looks weird, do I really like this?” but those thoughts quickly went away. They were more like “oh that’s new” kind of thoughts when I saw my chest but like overall im enjoying breast growth. I am overall looking forward to most of the changes but I am still kinda scared I even had those thoughts in the first place.

Has anyone else had a phase where these things happened to them at one point? I feel I am kinda alone in this all and that these aren’t normal thoughts to have. Like obviously this is explainable when I imagined myself in a scenario where I couldn’t transition because I was too scared to lose family but I still don’t know if these are normal thoughts or not. I started spiraling after reading about someone detransitioning on r/4t4 maybe this is OCD acting up again and setting doubts in my mind.