Euh… okay… then stop… see if that helps… idk what to tell you… I have seen a lot of stuff… let me be honest… having struggle with this shit for essentially an entire decade… I’m all kinda ways messed up… but that’s the thing… I understand what happened to me is messed up and not that I am messed up… look I was also constantly worried that I am just a perverted freak… but it takes time, self acceptance, working through shame and also experience and now when thinking about certain things… no, I don’t feel or think that I am a perv because what I want is to be a women, be happy, yes also experience sexuality, but I don’t wanna be a sissy or some kind of fetishists or any of that… I don’t see myself that way anymore… the fear of being AGP made me repress a long time and it still does… but I noticed and cultivated the fact that my desire to be a woman goes beyond just idk niche seuality… I say… step away from all the sexual stuff and see if you want to be feminine in a non-sexual normal everyday life situation and yes for a moment the testosterone and male socialisation and porn may make your body react or may sexualize that… but that is taught, not innate… hold in for a moment… cultivate that image non sexually and then when it is neutral… examine it and see… does this feel right or does this feel wrong. Would I rather be feminine or masculine… that’s my honest advice… okay?