How the hell am I supposed to stop thinking about being a tranny for one fucking second I even have been listening to the transvestic youtube videos from people like Lily Alexander and books from others while exercising. I just want my mind to stop thinking about this for a second. I can’t cope out and think the thoughts will go away once I start estrogen because I’m sure I will only think about it more. I’m going to get to start stressing about people figuring it out, whether or not my changes are happening, whether or not I will pass with a growing body of visual evidence, whether or not I will fuck things up based upon how much I’m fucking eating so I can eventually stop being an obese moid.

14 days until I either fuck up my entire life or do the best thing I have ever done by injecting exogenous hormones! Time to go for another 90 minute or so elliptical session going for 11.5 miles today!