I didn’t really learn what “being trans” meant or what hrt was or what transitioning really entailed until I went off to college at 18 (consequences of growing up in a small, rural town) and then it took me another year after that to connect the dots (I am stupid, also I am old and social media hadn’t really taken over everyone’s lives to the degree it has now, so I spent way less time online).
Once I had that realization, I wasn’t able to ignore what I had been feeling anymore, but I thought it was over (at 19, which is tremendously idiotic, but I was kinda jacked pre-transition tbh).
A year goes by and my life crashed and burned (dropped out, no job, cut contact with pretty much everybody except my family). I was quickly approaching my 21st birthday and Trump had just taken office the first time, and it kinda hit me that I wasn’t getting any younger, these thoughts weren’t going away, and that the world was taking a bad turn, so I resolved to actually do something about it.
I ended up getting hrt off the internet at first because my mindset was like “if I don’t end up liking this or it doesn’t work out, I can just throw it away and no one will know”, but we can all see how that went. I ended up going the “official” route after my mom got to the mailbox before I did one time, but didn’t do anything beyond hrt for like a year because I just wasn’t ready. People started staring and acting weird and I was getting occasional “she/hers” like 3 months in though, so I started working on changing my name and documents after that.
I’m better than I was then in some ways, and worse or the same in others. Life has its ups and downs and you have to learn to roll with the punches.
I didn’t really learn what “being trans” meant or what hrt was or what transitioning really entailed until I went off to college at 18 (consequences of growing up in a small, rural town) and then it took me another year after that to connect the dots (I am stupid, also I am old and social media hadn’t really taken over everyone’s lives to the degree it has now, so I spent way less time online).
Once I had that realization, I wasn’t able to ignore what I had been feeling anymore, but I thought it was over (at 19, which is tremendously idiotic, but I was kinda jacked pre-transition tbh).
A year goes by and my life crashed and burned (dropped out, no job, cut contact with pretty much everybody except my family). I was quickly approaching my 21st birthday and Trump had just taken office the first time, and it kinda hit me that I wasn’t getting any younger, these thoughts weren’t going away, and that the world was taking a bad turn, so I resolved to actually do something about it.
I ended up getting hrt off the internet at first because my mindset was like “if I don’t end up liking this or it doesn’t work out, I can just throw it away and no one will know”, but we can all see how that went. I ended up going the “official” route after my mom got to the mailbox before I did one time, but didn’t do anything beyond hrt for like a year because I just wasn’t ready. People started staring and acting weird and I was getting occasional “she/hers” like 3 months in though, so I started working on changing my name and documents after that.
I’m better than I was then in some ways, and worse or the same in others. Life has its ups and downs and you have to learn to roll with the punches.