phq 9 test for clinical depression

as you can see im below the max so im mentally healthy

although i am on antidepressants so maybe its bad that its still this high… nahh

  • Fuwarei
    2·
    8 days ago

    If I’m not depressed am I faketrans? I don’t know what is wrong with me, but my mood switches from ultra depressive to positive depending on how much dysphoria and hopelessness I feel.

    • NarcissusOP
      1·
      8 days ago

      just means you dint have clinical depression specifically, probably plenty of trans people who are not depressed at all. probably. maybe.

      • Fuwarei
        1·
        8 days ago

        Wait, I’ve been thinking about something. Before I ever had gender dysphoria I was already suspecting I have BPD. Just thinking about how my dysphoria is manifesting, it correlates to BPD symptoms greatly. What the fuck? So all of this is fake after all. I have to do research on BPD induced dysphoria, maybe it is possible for me to be cured. (Hopefuel)

        • NarcissusOP
          1·
          8 days ago

          bpd did not induce your dysphoria shut uppp why would it make you another gender rhats so dumb shut

          • Fuwarei
            1·
            8 days ago

            Then why does my dysphoria fluctuate like BPD does? I go from borderline suicidal to borderline euphoric. When I’m suicidal I see myself as male, I get dysphoria, I notice my body. When I’m euphoric I see myself in a girly way even tho I am clearly a twinky moid. Or either I am distracted like right now listening to music and I don’t really perceive my gender cause it’s dark, and I’m too tired emotionally from the last breakdown. Like it literally makes sense, 3 hours ago I was in such agony. I wanted to kill god and rip his lungs out. I was quietly laughing as coping mechanism. Now I feel quite happy and too tired emotionally to be despaired over my body. And when I’m feeling normal, I’m either distracted from my dysphoria or it is not that strong.

            I’ve suspected borderline at 14 before I ever had dysphoria. At 16 it started small, unnoticeable, I femboycoped. For past 6 months I feel like I actually had real dysphoria but I can’t actually remember. My dysphoria memories have been cut past a month ago, I don’t even remember how my dysphoria was before.

            But I know that the way I am feeling nowadays, is the same way when I was sad from social loneliness at 14. It was not a simple depression, more like borderline cause I had happy episodes too.

            • NarcissusOP
              1·
              8 days ago

              i mean it sounds like no matter what you always want to be a woman its just your view of your own passing that changes. so the dysohorianitself is constant its just the degree that it affects you that is fluctuating. idk much about borderline but idk why it would make you a woman

              • Fuwarei
                1·
                8 days ago

                I have ROGD. I didn’t have dysphoria that I can remember of(other than not liking body hair which I do remember) before knowing about trans people. Having an unstable identity with BPD and finding out about femboys made me cling towards that identity. From pseudodysphoria it developed into actual dysphoria. With more social contagion and after going on 4tran4 and getting brainworms, this is how I’m here. Suffering daily, my BPD is back in the form of dysphoria. Just like it used to be.

                See my post history for more background, I was feeling pain while writing them, not happiness so I tried to show myself in a valid way.

                Honestly, I’m scared that I’ll end up becoming a detranser, and that I fell in the wrong rabbithole. Well DIY will arrive in a week either way.