I remembered one of the first streamers I used to watch: Etika.

I was young and didn’t really grasp the concept of streaming. I couldn’t really fathom watching someone for 8 hours. I began to understand it more once I watched Etika’s videos. He made me smile when I thought I wasn’t able to anymore.

I learned of his suicide the same day I learned of his mental health issues. I didn’t understand it at all. Why everyone was mocking him and telling him horrible things. He was clearly distressed, yet people kept bullying him. I’m not saying that he didn’t say or do hurtful things during his episode. But it was clearly from a place of hurt, not of malice. I also learned of lolcow culture that day, and it made me sick. Sometimes, his videos in my feed, and my heart breaks.

And I see you guys in a similar light. I have to admit, the first time I stumbled upon 4tran4, I was quite put off by the slurs and self-deprecating art. But it was easy to understand that it came from a painful experience. I’m pretty sure I understood it because I could relate, but it made me somewhat afraid that people would misunderstand and be mean to a group of people who were mentaly vulnerable.

I understand the world is cruel. That we were all denied our bodily autonomy and that has caused nigh irreperable damage to our mind and body. That there are people out there that celebrate when a trans person dies, continuing harassment campaigns against them. But you don’t deserve this. You are all wonderful people. I like reading your posts, seeing your art, learning about your wishes and worries. And after closing my phone, I still hope that y’all stay safe. I believe that you all deserve better.

I know that this is very sneedy, but no matter how much you don’t pass, I still believe that you are a woman as a trans woman, and a man as a trans man. You need treatment, but you still are. And until I give my last breath on earth, I will try to help with that. Whether it’s just making people understand, donating to people that need treatment, or simply spending time with you all, I will try. And you should believe in yourself as well.