literally no matter where u go, it’s fucking everywhere, even the most chronically tttt psycho will just start talking about how they love their girlfriends cock in their food or something gross, stfu PLEASE
literally no matter where u go, it’s fucking everywhere, even the most chronically tttt psycho will just start talking about how they love their girlfriends cock in their food or something gross, stfu PLEASE
Thanks for the explanation. I think my sexual shame is very global and incompasses all of my sexuality. But you’re right. My sexuality does feel more corrupted on it’s gynephilic side or former heterosexual side due to all the stuff I saw and my fucked up development. With men, I like them both directly but probably not as much as cis gays, but I also like them in the way you’ve described. And when it comes to women, I think you’re right that my dysphoria is standing heavily in the way, plus all of my trauma.
Honeslty at times it feels like all of my sexuality is completely fucked up and I need to idk purify it. Burn it down and let it build itself up again naturally. It’s been a big hurdle in the way of starting transition for me. This feeling of needing to purify myself first. Get rid of every bad programming. All the filthy bad sexual conditioning of pornography.
Sometimes it feels like I need to get rid of it all. That I’ll never be innocent again. Forever tainted. By sexuality. By testosterone. That I will never have neutral grounds to build on.
Do you think I’ll ever have a “natural” sexuality and attraction to men and women?
Don’t try to “purify” yourself first, you will only fester in it and make it worse.
I cannot answer your question for sure, but I think the closest you can get to such a thing is being yourself.
But how do I make my sexuality “coherent” and good and less shameful and more functional and more neet and easy to make sense of and not bad, degenerate and idk… mentally wrong and dirty and weird and not “standardized” ?
This feeling of needing “purity” just doesn’t ever go away, hasn’t for years.
I don’t want to make peace with this messed up sexuality of mine. I want a better one. One that isn’t bad and wrong.
Do you have OCD? This reads like contamination OCD. How old are you?
I’m 19y old, or rather soon 20y old and I dont have compulsions. I wash my hands often and all but I don’t have obsessive behavior. But Idk. The religious aspect may also play a role. You know, idk. Everything has to be neet, has to fit into a box, has to be okay, correct, good not messy and sloppy and weird but sex is always… idk.
I’ve already did a post about how it’s evil. It’s just that it feels very shameful but also bad and dirty and also there are body liquids and idk. It’s okay. But like… idk. The sexing that happens in The Sex is just Le Bad. Idk. I’m trying to be humorous.
Idk… sorry, I’m not making any sense.
Nah I get you, I was just asking because you sound like me somewhat in the purity and thought contamination worries and thoughts about good and evil and stuff because that’s how my own diagnosed OCD primarily presents rather than super obsessive behaviors.
I don’t think any of what you have going on is shameful or evil, though, like I said it’s all more common than you’d think.
Huh, good to know. Thanks. Idk. It’s just like thus urge. Also with texting. Hate it when the formating is kinda off. Do honeslty I’m not gonna spin some quirky stuff into full blown diagnosis lmao. But I get what you mean. Actually used to be worriee and still sometimes am that I’m like poaessed by a demon giving me bad thoughts lmao.
Yea don’t listen to some random neet tranny who states her schizo opinions as fact on a niche TTTT offshoot website please. Like I said take my stuff with a grain of salt haha.
Plushie, you’re a cutie tho… as the name very obviously implies (hehehe, smart)
Also, who you think you’re talking to? I checked a -34 on the normalcy scale of Dr. William Ab. Normal, so there’s that 🌟