I feel we should have a mutual aid directory, where trans applicants verified by the directory managers as not-scammers can put in anonymous requests for assistance, and other trans people can donate like via crypto wallet addresses

(No I don’t like it either the idea of ‘e-begging’, but I would suppose it has to be better than prostitution)

Honestly, I was thinking of creating something like that last year, and I feel lowkey bad that it fell through while I was thinking on it. I’ll get back to it once I’m done writing some FtM guides and infographics.

If you can’t move out for a few more years, you can try to believably-gradually seem to turn trad/conservative and end up renouncing being trans or whatever. However, if there’s a way for you to move out soon, probably it would work to just point-blank deny it each time she asks even if she doesn’t exactly believe you.

It’s good that she hasn’t seen the vial, hide it well and get a skincare bottle decoy yeah.

Hiding stuff has an increasingly higher chance of discovery over time, since you are basically rolling the dice on it each time and eventually you might get a bad roll. I wouldn’t freak out about it now, but considering all possible options of how to move out asap would likely be a top priority. Another way that would work is to find other trans people or trans-accepting friends who might be ok with you keeping your E at their place and taking your injections at their place.

I know some young adults are in v tricky dependent situations like living in the middle of nowhere, parents stopping them from getting a driver’s license, disabilities make them unable to study or work, etc. I don’t mean for what I say to be out of touch.

What makes her say that, because parents don’t say that out of nowhere unless you directly told them you are trans or are giving off heavy signs?

Knowing what you told her or what you might be giving off as signs is useful for figuring out how exactly to dig yourself out of this hole. For example, if you came out to her as trans already, you can’t immediately just act disgusted about the idea of being trans because that lie would just be unbelievable (you can however pretend to be a sneedtranner who is against hormonal transition or sth. But this is also not that possible if you had openly told her that you wanted hormones).

Like girliepop said, FMS. This can be any of the following procedures tbh: brow bone implant (bigger brow bone), jaw implant (for a squarer jaw), jaw surgery, chin implant (bigger chin), chin surgery such as sliding genioplasty (bone of the chin is cut and moved forward for a more masculine chin side profile), masculinising rhinoplasty (basically getting a more masculine nose shape e.g. by widening the nose bridge and giving it a straighter slope like by adding a bone/cartilage graft or an implant), buccal fat removal (to slim the cheeks and give the appearance of a longer face), and upper lip reduction (smaller upper lip).

A lot of FMS procedures were popularized by cis male looksmaxxers. And the celebrity FMS surgeon is Eppley. I’ve had FMS but not with Eppley, he’s too expensive for me lol.

Another possibility but which is very risky is limb-lengthening surgery. Expensive, risky, might end up in chronic pain, just for 4 inches increase. Not worth it for me as I would still be short lol.

There are some more-niche body surgeries, like body masculinisation surgeries. These are still fairly new, and usually just involves liposuction of fat from certain areas. Although some rare cases involve a transfer of fat from one area of the body to another. Sadly there is no achievable way so far to actually shave down the hip bones, since that would really just fuck you over in basic everyday functioning. I’m not aware of any surgeries that can expand the ribcage / underbust, nor any surgery can add a significant amount to shoulder bones. (Obligatory sidenote that most FtMs primarily need good T levels, time and gymmaxxing, to achieve a passing body shape).

There are also facial hair transplants, e.g. transplanting head hair to the face, but this is rare because head hair being your beard isn’t exactly the right texture, so most FtMs try oral minoxidil first for getting more facial / body hair if considerable time on T didn’t work.

Then there is bottom surgery, but the topic lowkey depresses me— I’m very happy for FtMs who want and get bottom surgeries, but the current limitations are hard for me personally to emotionally deal with. Anyway bottom surgery is one of the most complex ftm surgical topics, so I will just summarize to say that there is metoidoplasty and there is phalloplasty. Phalloplasty involves constructing a dick where the tissue comes from another part of the patient’s body. There are various phallo methods, with their corresponding pros and cons, such as ALT or RFF or MLD or abdominal. Most phallo surgeries are RFF followed by ALT. RFF takes a graft from the forearm and leaves a scar there, ALT takes from the thigh and leaves a scar there. The length and girth of the dick depends on the size and nature of the graft site which depends on the person’s anatomical limitations e.g. whether they just have short arms and whether they have thigh skin that is less suitable for ALT. For ALT, there is a risk that the dick is too thick, so fat has to be taken out with debulking surgeries. For RFF, if the dick is too skinny, I heard there are some new injection bulking surgeries for that but that those are a little hit or miss.

Outside of the construction of the dick itself, the balls can also be constructed. Urethra lengthening and rerouting is done if the patient wants to urinate out of the dick, although it comes with some increased complication risks. Nerve hookup can be done for RFF and ALT to give some sensation to the dick, but can’t be done that well for other phallo methods. Yes the dick by default doesn’t have that much sensation unless you pick a certain method and do nerve hookup. There is of course also the removal of the natal genitals, so of the womb and ovaries and vaginal canal.

Oh and the dick can’t get hard by itself, it’s always flaccid. To achieve an erection manually usually requires implanting an erectile device in a separate surgery. There are various options of devices, but they tend to fail in some FtMs within a few months to a few years. The rod version can last up to 15 or more years, and in fact the average longevity of an erectile rod is 10-15 in typically-elderly cis male patients, but due to various factors, it seems to reject quicker on average in FtMs. Each replacement requires surgery that can come with complication risks to the urethra, sensation and size of the dick.

And also there is recently medical tattooing to give phallo dicks a more cis-passing appearance, which is great but is basically another step to add on, and also speaks to how some phallo results are not that cis passing without tattooing.

Phallo in the US can be 300k-500k out of pocket so the vast majority of people who can afford phallo have insurance coverage for it. It can require years of surgery and recovery across all of the stages mentioned and considering potential complications, so there are months that you have to take off work (assuming you aren’t a youngshit with a supportive family who is getting phallo while taking time off as needed in university, financially supported by your parents, getting the surgery massively subsidised by your parents’ US blue state white collar job insurance, etc etc). In the past, the number of FtMs who could get phallo are quite rare and often still is. They usually saved money until their 30s or even 40s, to afford both the surgery and the time that they won’t be able to spend working.

Medical abortion is usually what doctors do especially for <10 weeks. This involves two prescription medications being taken. Some women in countries with heavy anti-abortion laws, and/or they lack healthcare access, may get these pills off the grey market. I’ve read of informal networks of women in the US who try to get these meds to women who need it.

I know this isn’t an US site but it is an official government source from Singapore that informatively explains the details of medical abortion: https://www.singhealth.com.sg/tests-procedures/medical-termination-of-pregnancy

Note: as the site mentions, doctors usually prescribe antibiotics too

Above 10-14 weeks, medical abortion is still possible but runs a significantly higher risk of complications and a higher failure rate (failure with the medical / pill method would necessitate surgical abortion). Which is why women choosing medical abortion for later-term abortions are usually hospitalized and monitored.

So above 10-14 weeks, usually surgical abortion is the method preferred by doctors but there is no DIY version of that https://www.singhealth.com.sg/tests-procedures/surgical-termination-of-pregnancy

https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng140/resources/patient-decision-aid-on-choosing-between-medical-or-surgical-abortion-from-14-weeks-up-to-24-weeks-pdf-6906582254

Re: making it more accessible and engaging: Honestly I’m open to people making their own posts like by selecting and grabbing sections from this guide to make shorter posts, maybe adding pics, etc. Making videos too. Basically it’s free for anyone to make modified versions, and actually I would v appreciate that.

Right now this info exists as this long text-only guide— I think it can be shared in this format, but it’s also possible for people to share just the links to this post, or just the substack links for instance.

I’m thinking over whether it would be beneficial to have this post go into pins / announcements, but I don’t want to potentially clog up pins / announcements with all parts of the guide either. Worth a think on the mod team side? May be possible instead to have an announcement go out only when the whole guide is finished, so the announcement is just a list of links to all the parts, but I will need a while to finish the whole guide.

Yeah I think Part 2 is twice the length of Part 1. I considered splitting Part 2 up further, but then it might become harder for other people to keep track of and share too many parts.

Eventually I’d want to make video versions of all this, because I really don’t think everyone has the wherewithal to read literally thousands of words in a text wall, with multiple text walls forming the entire guide. But making videos will take more time of course. I might ask the amazing artists here to help.