this is a repost of something i sent in the main community like a while back, i’m posting it here bc i feel like you all are probably more in tuned with this stuff/willing to reply to it

post is follows:

(WARNING: LONG AND WHINY POST AHEAD, TURN BACK NOW)

i’ve been using 4tran4 (mostly as a lurker) for a bit over a year, and i’ve slowly been more and more convinced that i am faketrans. i am, quite literally, “a cis male who takes hrt to alleviate his gender dysphoria”, like literally the meme

let’s break down the points to be as logical (as a man should be) as possible

faketrans:

-ROGD at 14, near zero evidence i was trans prior

-barely gives a shit about how i look and sound anymore, in fact i tolerate my (male sounding) voice now

-too lazy to voice train, never do it

-too lazy to face shave, only do it like once a week

-too lazy to body shave, never do it (not that it would even do anything THANK YOU SOUTH ASIAN GENES)

-most malebrained interests of all times (stem bullshit, weebslop and gamerslop but specifically male oriented for both, fucking power scaling which is a top 3 most malebrained interest of all time)

-practically zero fembrained interests (not even reading novels, my attention span is too fucked for that)

-adhd (most likely) and asd (potentially)

-i talk like a dudebro

-never had a female friend (bc of gender segregated religious school but this carried onto college)

-all of the people who i can and could call friends are transphobic cis men

-have always related to male characters exponentially more than female characters (especially older brothers with younger sisters, ie my life)

-i had incel-adjacent beliefs prior to solidifying in my head i was trans (literally the incel to trans pipeline meme, the actual most faketrans thing ever) (although it wasn’t bc i hated women for dating reasons, i was moreso just mad at them for being allowed to be women and pretended to care about the dating stuff even though i didnt)

-adding onto above, i wanted to publish an online manifesto explaining how women are more human than men due to emotional and mental maturity+pain tolerance+ability to express oneself+crime rates+general moral standards and how patriarchy and misogyny were invented as a coping mechanism for men to cope with the fact that they’re subhuman and will never be human (women) and how those anti-women social institutions should remain to “level the playing field” and that women should take solace in the fact that they are morally and ontologically superior beings (obviously i don’t believe this anymore)

-adding onto both of above, i still sympathize with less extreme incels

-took until 16 before i deconverted from the chuddiest major religion on earth (other exmuslims in this community seem to have done it when they were way younger)

-negative critical thinking skills

-negative knowledge outside of stem bs

-generally a moron

-specifically a “peaked when he was a young boy” type of moron

-negative empathy (for example, i am trying not to use the r word online anymore. why? my mom has (rightfully) referred to me as such a few times, and only then has it made me realize how much the word hurts to be told, rather than me being able to understand through empathy, and a lack of empathy is malebrained)

-i hate that i am indian (racism ie malebrained)

-i hate that i am an indian born and raised in the US (i am neither indian nor american nor indian-american it’s kinda funny how that works, i culturally fit in nowhere and the fact i care so much about something as useless as that is kinda malebrained)

-absurdly high male libido prior to E, i needed E to curb it instead of being able to do it myself

-the most malebrained thing imaginable: whenever i read a guy’s dysphoria post, i completely understand where he’s coming from. yeah, really. i used to be a “i don’t understand trans guys because why would you want to be a guy” type of person. now i see the posts about the guys here complaining about their height and facial features and strength and i think “if i were in that position it would suck” and am easily able to imagine it, despite the fact that i’d still say i don’t ever want to remasculinize

trutrans:

-around when i was 16 i did have very severe dysphoria for my face and voice, idk why it went away when i got older and MORE masculine

-i would probably kill myself if i was forced off E (my evidence being the time i was forced off in summer 2025 for two months and i very much wanted to)

-i have one major fembrained hobby: reading and (when im not lazy as fuck) writing fan fiction, but even then it’s not fembrained “how these two would interact” fan fiction, it’s malebrained “what if this series and this series had their plots collide in a cool way” or “what if this happened at that point instead”, ie plot-focused fanfiction over character-focused fanfiction

-i think of myself as a leftist now… hopefully

notice the difference in size between the two categories, if that isn’t evidence enough i don’t know what is

i know im just doing the “i am a sad pathetic faggot please don’t make fun of me” meme but i don’t know how else to explain this

i see all the other mtfs here talk with the most fembrained typing style imaginable, like the type of cutesy shit i can only wish to emulate, and how much pain they get from not shaving everyday, and then turn around and complain that they touched a basketball once and are therefore faketrans

on a semi related topic, another thing i’ve noticed over the last year is that you all don’t know what it means for someone to ACTUALLY hate themselves. everyone here falls into two camps: you are either accomplished or impressive in some way (“i can do x skill” “i am currently working towards y” “i used to do z”) OR you have genuine actual suffering and struggle in your past that still lingers with you to this day. someone who truly self hates understands that they are neither of these: they are nothing, and they have no explanation for BEING nothing. my hands exist solely to destroy, not create, despite all i was blessed with in my past. i’m not trying to shame you for not hating yourself enough, self hate is obviously bad, im just trying to help you understand what it looks like in its truest, rawest form

there’s probably more i can say but i forgot