I need my brain to pick a fucking lane, either let me die or let me want to live, instead I get the worst of both worlds, a brain ready and trying to die but a nervous system fighting tooth and nail to live, this shit is fucking torturous. I feel like a larping, suibaiting piece of shit doing this for the third time in the span of like a month, oh my fucking God, I hate myself so much, it’s so fucking pathetic. I’m so sorry everyone for constantly doing this, I need a month long temp ban or something.

  • Nat
    3·
    5 days ago

    I’m glad you’re ok.

    I used to struggle with the same feelings, I’d attempt then panic and stop myself at the last second. I tried to come up with more certain methods but I couldn’t ever get close. I’m glad I didn’t, I think part of me wanted to live.

    I think, I hope that part of you wants to live to. Maybe you want to live a different life but that’s still wanting to live. I hope the rest of you wants to live soon.

    • LilsOP
      3·
      5 days ago

      I don’t know, everything is really hopeless, even if I wanted to live it wouldn’t address the fact that living is a nightmare and the world is burning down and collapsing around us, even among people who do want to live I doubt they want to live through this, y’know what I mean?

      • Nat
        3·
        5 days ago

        I understand yea, I often feel the same way.

        • LilsOP
          3·
          5 days ago

          I genuinely just don’t know what to do about it, like the world is designed to maximise misery, it really feels like being suicidal is the rational response to everything right now.

          • Nat
            2·
            5 days ago

            It does yea. But that’s I guess why we have to maximise the joy in our lives

            • LilsOP
              2·
              5 days ago

              I feel like I have no way to feel joy in life right now.