I don’t know how to fix my subconscious and I do think I’ve hurt her more than she would say or realize right now :/ an apology doesn’t do much when I have proven something awful about my view of her. I’m the only person who can know whether I view her the right way or if there’s something wrong with my perception. I think there’s something wrong, even if I’ll deny it. I cannot be certain and if I try I’ll fail because I have OCD. There is truly never a time that I am not at odds with my mind
i mix up pronouns for cis people sometimes. i have a huge family, it just kinda comes out. i dont worry much about it. the ONLY thing about having trans friends is that we are so sensitive about it, sadly. i’d say maybe apologize and own up, give it a short time to cool, then do something or make her something casual that says ‘i see you as your gender’ without being too overt. something you know she likes and makes her feel like herself, maybe. like for example i used to send my friend masculine outfits he might like and go ‘hey this reminded me of you’.