I don’t know how to fix my subconscious and I do think I’ve hurt her more than she would say or realize right now :/ an apology doesn’t do much when I have proven something awful about my view of her. I’m the only person who can know whether I view her the right way or if there’s something wrong with my perception. I think there’s something wrong, even if I’ll deny it. I cannot be certain and if I try I’ll fail because I have OCD. There is truly never a time that I am not at odds with my mind