my dysphoria is too bad everything reminds me that i will never be a real woman and ill never be able to get surgery so it wont get better its all i can think about anymore every waking moment is spent fantasizing about my suicide
my dysphoria is too bad everything reminds me that i will never be a real woman and ill never be able to get surgery so it wont get better its all i can think about anymore every waking moment is spent fantasizing about my suicide
that doesnt make me a real woman besides all youve ever seen of me is very curated i look way worse in real life i dont even know if surgery would fix it i think im just permanently a man
i mean, you also just have the personality of a woman, so you’re still a real woman… and, girl, there’s just literally no way you’re permafucked. like, there are limits to how much you can manipulate a photo…
its not even about my appearance really im just permanently ruined by being born a man
i often feel the same way about myself, but i just don’t really think it’s true… like, we’re women who were born with a fucked-up disorder of sexual development. it doesn’t make us any less of a woman, even if we have to work much harder than everyone else for others to also recognize that fact :[
it doesnt matter how hard i work im going to be miserable for the rest of my life i dont think theres anything i can do that will fix this
i think there are some things that’ll hurt forever, yea. the dypsphoria will never fully disappear no matter what we do. in a way, i think it’s similar to losing someone one loves in the sense that it’ll never really “get better”; the person will never return from the dead. but, with time and effort, we learn to live alongside the pain, work around it, maybe even find ways to let it drive us forward. we’ll never be free from the pain, and i know the depression makes it seem completely fucking impossible right now, but there’s no doubt in my mind that we’ll find ways to live good lives despite it…
thank you for talking to me i wish i could believe that it was possible to have a good life
of course! hmm… you know, i don’t really think you have to believe it’s possible. tbh, you kinda just have to keep going, regardless. it seems weird and counterintuitive, i know, but if you just refuse to give up, things will get easier with time. the problem with depression is that it makes us unable to see the bigger picture. we get so focused on the pain we feel here and now, that the possibility of a future gets blackened out completely. but, eventually, the pain subsides; and, then, you’ll be able to see more clearly the possibilities you have to live a good life… trust me on this, i’ve gone in and out of so many depressive episodes that i’ve lost count. i’ve felt the shift in perspective happen in real time. just, please, give it some time.