went to my moms friends house. we tried talking abt literature but she likes fantasy and i dont rlly read fantasy. we tried talking abt poetry but her favorite poet is shel silverstein. she handed me a book and said i think YOUd like it (as opposed to my mom or sister) and its a collection of queer fairytales so that felt kind of… othering. and she was taken aback that i dont rlly play video games. she loves yoga, chiropracty and eastern medicine. she was trying to pill me on eastern philosophy, abt how good zen and dao are.

why do ppl like this get to be parents and i dont. she has a loving husband and three kids. her daughters run around and giggle and have fun and i cant even look at them without hurting because i will never have kids. never. and her son is almost a toddler hes up and walking and almost talking and its such a precious age. idk. i just feel jealous. and a bit… idk. she gave me the ick.