im literally so lazy i cant ever do things i just sit my fat ass around not contributing or helping anyone and im a horrible person for it. im a lazy ass bitch. i cant do ANYthing right bro i swear. no matter how easy it is or what i just dont have it in me. and i have to wonder sometimes if i do it on purpose subconsciously to tear myself down? actually of course i do but rly how tf am i supposed to outsmart my bpd when i get like a deep incomparable satisfaction from ruining my own life? uhhh or maybe i am just lazy and want to have an excuse for sitting around all day. i feel like allergic to improving my life in any way. i hate working. i hate having responsibilities. i feel like a child. i barely work for shit and would prolly just kms if my parents ever forced me to work more hours. i just have to wonder why i still act like a child when im literally chopped and unc im abt to turn 22 in a few weeks ffs