And as I sit for Ramen in the flustered afterglow, it dawns on me that I’ve seen that young man, in that wheelchair, smoking his cigarette, in exactly that spot at nearly exactly that time…

And then it further dawns on me,

He’s seen me transition

I’ve been at my current job for 3 years, and I have different schedules and different routines, but when I leave at 4, and take that path (which I have many times), I’ve seen him. Out side a swanky AF downtown apartment high rise, in his electric wheelchair, slowly smoking old school cigs. .

He’s seen me go from button up shirts to button down blouses,

He’s seen me transition

And today he said “Your glasses look really cute” , I was stunned, paused, and while still walking but having slowed I said “Oh… th… thats very kind of you!” And I flashed him my biggest smile, The smile I practice in the mirror along with the phrase “that’s very kind of you”…☺️

And I kept walking, my heart all a flutter, tapping time as it paced back and forth in my chest, not yet ready to think, but fully feeling.

And now, I’m crying on the train home.

I choose to believe that he saw me, and wanted to say "I agree with the thing you did. You seem happier and you look better. YOUR GLASSES LOOK REALLY CUTE

    • Ya'll_Are_Bots (Tay)OP
      4·
      27 days ago

      Thank you, I am smile crying so much I might be alarming the other people on the train, but the tiniest little show of kindness, like out of the blue not scripted not socially expected, real in-the-wild kindness is hitting me so hard in such a lovely way 😌

  • herbstluftwm
    5·
    27 days ago

    those who are cursed by birth can be blessed in life by the grace they lend each other

  • Ya'll_Are_Bots (Tay)OP
    4·
    27 days ago

    I think

    I think I’m going to start leaving at 4 again, at least once a week, and I’m going to take that path, and I’m going to say hello , and flash my well practiced smile .

    And maybe learn his name, and joke with him that I think smoking is gross and it’s a shame because it looks so cool ,

    And then maybe he will say “Yeah the doctors say it’s bad for my health” and then point at his wheelchair,

    And I’ll laugh earnestly because pain is acknowledged, And then I’ll joke about all the doctors that warn me of blood clots, and explain how I’d rather be dead than go back,

    And he will ask my name …

    And I’ll ask if he smokes anything other than cigs, and I’ll give him my number…

    And…