like, ik most of us are suicidal and all that. but assuming the tranny stuff was fixed. what would keep you here then? why would you want to live
because if my dysphoria was fixed id still want to kms probably. i just dont want my life. theres nothing i want to do. sure it would make the pain slightly less, make it easier for inertia to carry me forward, but there still would be nothing.
i just want to sleep. thats all. close my eyes and never have to open them again.
I really like my career and my uni and my friends. We often can underestimate possible realities due to the situations of the current one. Assuming the incongruence was removed from your life, it’s nigh impossible to imagine just what you’d do. Regardless though, then you could finally begin the journey to find the self.
i mean, i want to kms before all this too. its been the one single constant of my life. being trans is hardly my biggest issue.
i have friends, im about to graduate uni, i have a family who loves and cares about me. ive worked jobs. ive traveled. ive gone to therapy, tried lots of medications.
none of it has given me any desire to keep going for myself. theres nothing i want for me. i live for my mom, but she will die one day and then what? im not going to make another person my will to live like that again. its selfish, and idk if anyone could ever be what she is to me anyway.
it’s impossible to truly say. Perhaps a medical professional could shed some light, maybe you’re just genetically predisposed to such things. But right now, you have reasons. More will come, so hold on.
A cognitive incongruence between mind and body hampers the building of the self, which is why many trans young women and men suffer from disassociation and mood swings. Your minds various foundations inherited by ancestors (Like temperament and similar things of that nature) react to it. Your mind says, if this body is a part of my “self” I would rather be somewhere else. With this barrier removed, you can begin to build an (albeit delayed) healed self.