it’s driving me nuts
like yeah we’re all mentally ill and delusional trannies who deny nature or whatever, but like
you all do so much cool shit despite all you’ve gone through and suffered, and you keep on going
you all are put in these scenarios where the world is actively against you, yet you persevere and fight out
you all do so much good for others (today u saw someone here say they DIYpilled their brother when he was 11 against their parents’ wishes, which, if necessary, i WISH i could do for my 16 year old sibling who has like a 45% chance of being an ftm repper), and yet you all still act humble on how good of a person you are
how? like how? i wish i could.
and i’m not saying this as a “we can do it!” post or whatever, it actually infuriates me
this is supposed to be loser land and yet i don’t see any losers here but myself. should i leave? what the fuck?
yeah it’s fucking nuts, everyone here coolness mogs me
I cope by saying they are just neurotypical richshits tho
i am autistic and bpd and. recently have realised i may also have avpd but im not diagnosed with that. diagnosed autistic and bpd tho. im just biologically cool… heh.
Quiet/discouraged BPD is frequently confused with AvPD, just fyi.
like i DEFINITELY have bpd its the avpd im unsure of
i have a mix of quiet bpd and self destructive bpd
Yeah, same actually, I’m a fully internalized BPD’er too. I also generally meet pretty much full-diagnostic criteria for AvPD, and I would’ve been diagnosed with StPD if bipolar 1 with psychotic features didn’t rule that possibility out in the rules of the DSM lol. BPD is the only PD diagnosis that stuck, with “avoidant features” and “schizotypal features” being noted, partially because AvPD was like weirdly more expensive to test?!? But also because AvPD traits could be plausibly explained as part of other issues I had without establishing it as part of my “personality core” being necessary.
Regardless tho, determining what the personality “core” is is largely what gets these PD things to stick as useful frameworks for understanding someone’s case, and in psychiatry it’s most helpful to make fewer diagnoses whenever possible anyways, so in cases where the expression of one PD’s characteristics could be understood as an expression of a different personality core, “xPD with yPD features” is usually prefered to full-blown dual-diagnosis, which is an approach further reinforced in cases where one PD is clearly the more severe one that’ll take precedence in treatment. You could have a borderliner core with avoidant features, which is largely what being discouraged entails anyways.
I don’t say this to discourage entertaining dual-diagnosis tho, it’s just worth considering.
waow this is a lot to consider my therapist never went through any of this with me NGL this is all new
Well, glad I broached the possibility then lol. As you proceed with thinking about these things, keep it at the forefront of your mind that PD’s are “trait-like”, they’re fixed patterns of behavior and thought that stick with you through thick and thin and effect you in just about every aspect of your life. They involve your core motivations, your core fears and triggers, your maladaptive patterns that exist at the absolute root of your character, from which your broader personality branches off from. They’re an omnipresent background noise, and treatment aims at moving them as far into the background as possible, which will never mean removal, tho we certainly try to get as close as possible of course.
If you sometimes “feel not that AvPD today in my self-conception”, but the empty dysregulated BPD-core remains, that could be even more reason to discard AvPD. If you literally always have the self-worth of a AvPD’er, if you can establish that the pattern of feeling worthless and isolating for others benefit to be something that persists at basically all times and is practically unremovable from your self-conception without a lot of hard and intentional work even in your best moments, and the best you can usually ever do is make the thoughts quieter or shed doubt on them, then dual-diagnosis is not only more accurate but more useful (tho, yet again, technically still not “neccessary”. It’s perfectly possible to just note you have avoidant features, and just proceed BPD treatment from there with such considerations factored in).
i get the cope but the insane thing is that the cope is false
the coolness mogging comes from people who have it so bad, it’s the difference between circumstances/environment and coolness level that specifically heightens my respect for all you all in my eyes