hrt was supposed to help. it was supposed to at least make me feel better even if i couldnt pass. but it hasnt. i cant keep going like this. i genuinely want to give up and rep. i will never afford anything i need to be happy and continuing has only led to further declines in my mental health.

2 years of grief and pain just to end up looking the same as i did before but skinnier and with gyno. who could blame me for wanting to give up? if its all making me more miserable than i was before, then giving up would be the smart thing to do.

i get it, its my own decision to make. im not asking for permission. im just tired. im so tired. i dont have any real paths forward. there is no light at the end of the tunnel. no joy has been found in trying, just further despair and pain. and im tired of hurting.