so much selflessness for a selfhating npc. I shouldn’t have existed, world would quite literally have been a better place without me because I barely impacted anyone in any way at all in this life, and I hate my existence every day, that’s a net negative on overall happiness. one day shell realize I’m a tranny and that would be even more heartbreaking for her than if she had aborted me, cuz now she has memories attached to me and hopes or whatever that would get destroyed too. I thought about it much and came to the conclusion that I don’t want to change, I don’t want things to get better. I started writing a journal entry todat, first one in 3 months, and after two sentences realized I didn’t actually want to and whole bit was pointless. I’ll tear out the sheets with text and burn them tomorrow. or just throw out. I’ll go listen to something that will get me crying for an hour and then get my 3 hour sleep. an all loving god would have made sure I won’t have to wake up but my hopes are low. here you go chat, another generic vent coalpost. please go on with your day