I have to go and look that up… what???

I found it… and I am sorry… I removed that comment… I clearly overstepped and was just behaving in a reckless furry of self hatred… this was too far… that was very wrong… I am sorry… I just felt personally shitty because I had to think about women I knew and felt such despair and dysphoria and envy and just felt disgusted with myself because I felt ashamed for wanting to be like them and felt creepy and wrong and just… I projected it very clearly outwards…