So we have the word “cock”, from a male chicken for a man’s penis. What do we use for a woman’s penis? Oh we just replaced the “c” with a “g”, because it’s girl-cock, get it? No. It’s utterly abhorrent. This word, and it’s every utterance leaves the sensation that it’s wielder dragged it out from the sewers for use in their vocabulary. I can’t fathom any person waking up one day, watching the beauty of our world, the beauty of language and thinking to construct a portmanteau putting a taste as unpleasant in your mouth as this.

Any distinguished transsexual woman who hasn’t gotten SRS should use “hen” to describe their genitalia. It is the natural order of things, one million and one times more clever, one million and two times more elegant, and two million five hundred seventy-eight thousand six hundred and forty-three times more powerful than this “word” which hangs in the back of your throat like an under-cooked chicken gizzard – a cock’s gizzard to be exact.

And that is my proposal: The “hen”.