I wasn’t really one of those people who knew at a young age I was trans, I knew something was wrong but my approach to that was to just stop associating my body with myself, that cope was probably why I was rather late to the punch on this. (started hrt at 26) I’ve easily lived most of my life in this disconnected state. My cope was too essentially tell myself it did not matter how I looked like at all or how I presented because all I was was the brain inside of this body. Of course that didn’t last.

It feels like I’ve been doing this too long to fully break out of it, because now I’m more aware of all the damage that has been done to my body that is impossible or out of reach to fully repair. I think I was just straight up too stupid to understand it all earlier and now Im paying the price for it.