Not to be a “everything was better back in my day” poster, but everything was better back in my day. Yeah, some things have changed, and people have come and gone like they always do, but besides, I just think I’ve grown tired of this place and I feel like I barely know anyone on here anymore. Most people from back then have moved on, become passoids or both. Some have stopped posting. Some have stayed on reddit or moved to discord or wherever. Some are MIA and I can only assume the worst. Not to mention that the average age seems to stay the same because the ones who are older leave and new people seem to be younger and younger, and I’m already one of the oldest people around here anyway. I keep scrolling through the same 3 types of posts every day (and I’m part of the problem because ever since I lost my spark, all I do is whine), feel a lingering sense of hostility in the air and just feel like things have changed and will never go back to the way they were.

Also, maybe most importantly, my mental state has significantly deteriorated even further. I just don’t have the energy to spend all day on here anymore because it hurts me too much. I have enough of my own misery to contend with, I just don’t have the capacity for everyone else’s. Getting mogged has been feeling worse than ever because I just can’t shrug it off or cope anymore. I know that my ship has sailed, so to speak, and it just hurts too much to be reminded of how bad things really are.

I’m not sure what I’m even trying to say here. This is not a goodbye post, and I’m not leaving (yet). I just feel like my time is coming soon, and that I no longer feel at home in these parts. Which is kinda shit tbh because I don’t feel at home anywhere else either. I literally have no one anymore. :(