It’s genuinely impossible. Ever since I knew myself I have been doing it. I also need to be walking or pacing while doing it and it used to drive my mom insane, even said I looked like a mentally challenged kid to get me to stop it.

But I can’t stop. You can put me in a padded room with a random, useless object and I will circle that room for hours and hours while occationaly smiling or laughing to myself for no reason.

And I love it. It could be total fiction or an imagining of some artwork that I would love to create; Whether it be art, music or writing. It could be a grandiose life where I have accomplished the things I dreamt of achieving or it could simply be having an affectionate partner by my side. Whatever it is, it brings me comfort as if it was real. And I will keep doing it.