I was doing sound/video for a really long gig, having to spend 3 days with the client who were an older straight couple. Twice the man grabbed shoulders, first time after misgendering me and me having to correct him, he said over and whispered “sorry, I’ll do my best, sorry” or something like that with both hands on my shoulders and patted them. Next time was the last day of the gig and he jumpscared me with it and normal talked “U parked ur vintage car next to ours so I took a picture and my friends love it”

This was late last week and I’m at another different call right now and I wanna cry like please please don’t touch me I don’t want it at all I wish I wasn’t such a wimp I don’t wanna be this sensitive. I hate when anyone who I haven’t accepted touch from touches me I feel so gross and freeze up. I’ve never even been assaulted unless I’m repressing some deep childhood memory but I just feel so traumatized still. I have to do this gig twice a year with these people and I hate it every time I don’t feel respected at all