i’m 26 and i’m just starting to self study maths and i feel like i started too late like with hrt… like, there has to be some neural pathways that got alr closed and iwnb able to understand advanced concepts much like my growth plates after puberty… not like i have enough delusions to think i could have made math discoveries or smth but just like, having enough neural plasticity to get advanced stuff or smth…

with the extremely basic stuff that i was doing i alr feel like it scratched this lateral thinking part of my brain and it feels great but also like, i must be too old and it’s over… thing is, i had great grades in high school and i could have study a math degree!! but i would have had to move to another city and i’m so cucked that i stayed in my shithole local uni that didn’t have that possibility!!! and i ended studying compsci which is, meh… genuinely i’m just retarded and pathetic…