i feel kinda helpless right now but thats not really how id phrase it. i accept that the issues i have are tendencies i will likely have to work against for my whole life, but i think everyone has some predispositions that are helpful and some that arent and that learning how to manage those is part of life
Sorry, I was unfairly projecting experiences I’ve had with some friends and people I love; and even in those situations I’m not frustrated with the people- but instead with the way Psychology treats/treated them.
I think you have your head screwed on quite rightly, and that your perspective seems reasonable as hell.
They way I improved things in my life was small concentric circles, starting with very intentional acts that felt anxiety-inducing but where I felt I had like, safe exit routes and such.
I would plan these things out a week or weeks in advance, knowing how I would get there, whether it would be something I could leave easily etc, but planning them made me feel more likely to actually do them.
Also, genuinely doing theatre stuff helped, because it was somehow easier to pretend to be somebody else and have my interactions with people in public be based off something I could practice in my room at home, and like over time, I think I felt more like a human who belonged in that space, for me my current version of this is poetry open mics.
You have the right mindset anyway, what are you r plans for the next few weekends ?
i totally get that but its kind of rude to come in on a vent post and start proselytizing about it lol
i dont really have a lot of plans for now but i think im gonna go back to the city for school in a couple weeks and ill have some more of those kinds of opportunities there
Defo is rude - I have a very poor ability to translate my desire to big-up peoples autonomy and cheerlead their success without clearly also like, ragging on them -
Genuinely something I’m working on, so thank you for checking me on that 🙇🏻♀️
I feel very strongly that so many of our limitations as humans when it comes to like, sociability and such are self imposed, and that an a very deep level we are all wired to need community and belonging-
I went to the funeral of the man who was my older brother figure through the end of highschool and into college, we were roommates for 3 years ;
He was a very prolific drug dealer, and a genuinely interesting human, and upon reflection I definitely loved him.
He was also one of “the cool kids” , as was his sister who I was in theater with, so I spent a lot of time at ‘cool’ parties and events and such,
Always
Fucking
Terrified
I built a persona around myself to keep my distance, I was awkward and got by on my aloofness, I don’t think I had many ‘fun’ experiences because I was always SURE that I was broken and these people were ‘normal’, I always felt afraid of them, in awe of them.
At his funeral,
They were all just people… and it really did a number on me for the next year, coming to terms with the fact that actually these were never creatures that were separate or different or elevated or better than me,
That was a thing that I was doing, they all remembered me fondly and were very kind and curious how my life had been in the interim… now even at this point I was repping, so I’m not pretending this was some epiphany that cured me of something, but it’s something I think about a lot whenever I get that racing heart rate and cold sweat that I associated with feeling it if my depth socially, the only thing I need to do to be interesting and engaging is be earnest about the things I find interesting and engaging and be open to seeing the interesting and engaging characteristics of others.
(More proselytizing from the resident ScreedHon of this sub…)
Do you feel like AVPD is a thing you will always be ?
And do you feel helpless to it ?
i feel kinda helpless right now but thats not really how id phrase it. i accept that the issues i have are tendencies i will likely have to work against for my whole life, but i think everyone has some predispositions that are helpful and some that arent and that learning how to manage those is part of life
Sorry, I was unfairly projecting experiences I’ve had with some friends and people I love; and even in those situations I’m not frustrated with the people- but instead with the way Psychology treats/treated them.
I think you have your head screwed on quite rightly, and that your perspective seems reasonable as hell.
They way I improved things in my life was small concentric circles, starting with very intentional acts that felt anxiety-inducing but where I felt I had like, safe exit routes and such. I would plan these things out a week or weeks in advance, knowing how I would get there, whether it would be something I could leave easily etc, but planning them made me feel more likely to actually do them.
Also, genuinely doing theatre stuff helped, because it was somehow easier to pretend to be somebody else and have my interactions with people in public be based off something I could practice in my room at home, and like over time, I think I felt more like a human who belonged in that space, for me my current version of this is poetry open mics.
You have the right mindset anyway, what are you r plans for the next few weekends ?
i totally get that but its kind of rude to come in on a vent post and start proselytizing about it lol
i dont really have a lot of plans for now but i think im gonna go back to the city for school in a couple weeks and ill have some more of those kinds of opportunities there
Defo is rude - I have a very poor ability to translate my desire to big-up peoples autonomy and cheerlead their success without clearly also like, ragging on them -
Genuinely something I’m working on, so thank you for checking me on that 🙇🏻♀️
I feel very strongly that so many of our limitations as humans when it comes to like, sociability and such are self imposed, and that an a very deep level we are all wired to need community and belonging- I went to the funeral of the man who was my older brother figure through the end of highschool and into college, we were roommates for 3 years ;
He was a very prolific drug dealer, and a genuinely interesting human, and upon reflection I definitely loved him.
He was also one of “the cool kids” , as was his sister who I was in theater with, so I spent a lot of time at ‘cool’ parties and events and such,
Always
Fucking
Terrified
I built a persona around myself to keep my distance, I was awkward and got by on my aloofness, I don’t think I had many ‘fun’ experiences because I was always SURE that I was broken and these people were ‘normal’, I always felt afraid of them, in awe of them.
At his funeral, They were all just people… and it really did a number on me for the next year, coming to terms with the fact that actually these were never creatures that were separate or different or elevated or better than me,
That was a thing that I was doing, they all remembered me fondly and were very kind and curious how my life had been in the interim… now even at this point I was repping, so I’m not pretending this was some epiphany that cured me of something, but it’s something I think about a lot whenever I get that racing heart rate and cold sweat that I associated with feeling it if my depth socially, the only thing I need to do to be interesting and engaging is be earnest about the things I find interesting and engaging and be open to seeing the interesting and engaging characteristics of others.
(More proselytizing from the resident ScreedHon of this sub…)