i used to be a pretty crazy poly addict. i would mix a bunch of hard drugs and i did that for years. im mostly just a slight alcoholic now, but its really not doing it anymore

my friend offered to give me some ketamine today. i think im going to go pick it up tomorrow. im pretty excited since its been years. i can probably just start going to his dealer which is cool

getting high often felt like some form of reason to live and i really need a reason right now tbh. plus i think the hrtrepping will be a lot more tolerable if i lobotomize myself with drugs again