i have a slightly older brother and i have no clue on his views towards trans people but i want to transition while i still have a shot and y’know - hard to convince a motherfucker to help me get something from the grey market when he probably knows as much as i do about the crypto-schizo-thingamablobber fuckerytardation =p early 18 years old repressing since 12 because i was uneducated in mental health and had to figure out i Got PTSD from my parents and schoo (emotional flashbacks + hypervigilance need more exposure)

i want advice for this but also just feel free to share your experiences idrc

  • Ya'll_Are_Bots (Tay)
    2·
    1 month ago

    For own experience I thought a lot about it, and I made sure to bring all of my own language and my own earnest feelings and fears and stuff to the table,

    I explained that I had “changed the operating system” because my whole life there was a “static” inside my brain, a dissonance within my soul, I explained the instances where society taught me that I was a monster and should hide if I wanted to be safe, I explained the way I took that hate into myself and began hating myself from the inside out,

    I explained that it was very distressing over the past to hear the feeling I had described as a beautiful thing to be celebrated, because even after all the work I’d done to accept myself and love myself, the thing that I have Is a curse that I wouldn’t wish upon anybody, I explained the immediate benefits I felt after the first month, I explained the practical fears I now have in the world, I explained real examples of how that plays out in my life regularly,

    I gave him time to process things. It didn’t start great, he was raised in the same world by the same father I was, so he learned the same hate, the same revulsion, the same fear, so I gave him time and him and gave him grace regularly.

    It’s been about 3 treats that I’ve been out to him, he helped me get my name changed, he’s helped me clean up the mess I made of my life when I only could imagine it ending in suicide, he is one of the most supportive people in my life.

    But it did take time