I legit do not think I’ve ever seen this talked about much. Maybe it’s because I’m weird for even wanting this, but I’m in one of those moods where I’m really mourning being tied down to property and economic obligations and social ties, just wanting to drop everything and fuck off to nowhere, but that is simply not a reality for those reliant on medications, so my dysphoric ass could never…

I think my life would objectively still be very difficult if I were a cisoid, but it’d at least allow me to do voluntary homelessness without experiencing profound bodyhorror as the price to pay, so…

I just feel profoundly vulnerable, even a bit humiliated, being this reliant on supply-lines and sedentary living just to be even somewhat comfortable. I wish I could just pick a direction and just keep walking till I get bored or die without my hormones also getting fucked up, without my bones turning to dust cuz my orchie, and without having to grow a fucking beard because male puberty-rape put terminal hairs on my face. I swear being a tranny killed any prospect of spontaneous adventure or vagabondry, of being truly propertyless, and I think I hate this part more than having gone through male puberty. Sometimes I wonder if I could’ve survived repping just so I could distract myself with this dangerous kind of life, but the distress was ultimately just too extreme and there’s not a thing in this world that feels worth doing or experiencing while male, so I guess this is just my life forever :/

But this could all be my passively suicidal thought-process both assuming too much and romanticizing danger. Perhaps a hypothetical cisoid me could tolerate society, but I struggle to see that being the case. I’ll never really know.