Like, it feels agp but I know that doesn’t make any sense. I feel like referring to myself as girl with like she/her pronouns is “controversial”. there’s always a voice telling me “you’re not a woman stop lying you fucking hon”. I see other trans women as women and trans dudes as dudes, but it’s like my brain has an exception for myself. My brain is constantly pounding my head with guilt about being trans.
A better way to describe it i think is like imagine if there was a right wing chud in your head who is constantly telling you awful transphobic things. that’s what it feels like.