She hasn’t noticed I’m 10 months on E already anyway. I told her I’m going to kill myself because there is no way out for me. She said that I’m very “handsome” and I have “androgynous beauty”, and that I should at least try transitioning, that it’s never too late and that there are a lot of “beautiful older trans persons”. I put my hand beside hers to show her how fucked by testosterone I am, and she had nothing to say. Lmao.

Genuinely, what’s even the fucking point anymore? I’m mogged by fucking everyone, I’m tall and big and unmistakably manly. I worked so hard to get bigger hips and butt, but it doesn’t matter, bones decide all. I fucking frame mog most guys and men older than me. It’s genuinely fucking ogre. I don’t know how to find the reason to keep going