this isn’t even a “i’m more faketrans than all of you” post, bc i’ve literally not seen a single person in here yet who actually isn’t trans.

i am literally just a normal guy. i have weird fucking mental issues that aren’t in the dsm5 for some reason, sure, but other than that i’m just male. i’ve had dysphoria for about 3 months last year i think, the rest was literally just envying other people and being too addicted to 4chan/reddit bc i do nothing but stare at my phone all day while laying in bed.

so why do i take estrogen? because i want to be a different person. i don’t want to be the moid that i am and i fucking hate moids. i’m attracted to girls, so naturally i envy that they just get to enjoy having a female body while i’m stuck with only this ugly as fuck male one that i would never want to voluntarily look at.

the only reason i don’t want to stop estrogen anymore is not because there are literally any effects it has on me that make me want it (zero exaggeration btw, most ppl just complain that it doesn’t help them pass, it doesn’t even make me a man on estrogen which i would be ok with bc that would mean i could be a slightly different person than myself.),

the reason i can’t stop it is because if i don’t, i will become what i was before taking it again, which is not a repper, but just a completely normal moid. at the very fucking least i can say i take hrt now, whatever the reason may be, so i’m technically no longer just a regular male, so i’m technically no longer just the guy i was before. it’s just street cred. or rather, silly internet uwu colon three cred.

i’m not a tranny insecure about not having enough dysphoria or anything. i’m here bc it would be an escape of my shitty self in some way. so i can pretend to myself that i’m more distanced from him.

i would be fine with just being a different guy to some extent, but there would always be enough of that to remind me of what i was before (aka am now) in that case so it wouldn’t be enough. a woman has next to no similarities to me, so that would actually fix me. then i could actually make myself believe that i’m truly a different person. and then i can invent what “myself” actually is so i can start being that or whatever.

i found trans spaces last year and i remember previously finding all it fucking cringe as shit (still do lol) and not wanting ot be associated with that, but then i saw that those people were a million times happier than i will ever be, which made me so envious i had to be apart of it or something. and now i’m even more miserable than i was before. yay!!! :3