I know BDD is pretty bad. I know that, but still. People have killed themselves because they’re not like you. Because you WILL pass and they may not. It isn’t fair. It just causes people harm when you’re immensely lucky and say someone with your measurements is doomed. 5’4 or loving parents or good genetics or whatever. It’s potent ropefuel. Then again, I also know what it’s like to have your personal lens distorted. Especially when you’re venting your own frustrations. Sometimes, even repeated confrontation with reality isn’t enough. The beast in our hearts always wants more. It’s a dilemma, but man it sucks.
Thing is i look at myself and I see a man yes I know people would like to be like me I know i pass but I still struggle to see myself right it hurts and if I try expressing it almost every other trans person will dismiss me and treat me like shit for being this way. I feel like I’m not allowed to even have issues and if I do I’m the bad guy.
I know it hurts, and it’s not fair. That’s the dilemma. You don’t deserve to be treated poorly for it. In spaces like these, things can be an odd kind of connected competition. We get used to seeing other, similar lives. It sets us off, because we look at the lives of others through the lens of our life and it hurts. I’m very sorry. I mourn for both sides.