there’s no point in having friends if they are just made uncomfortable by me acting as myself. i can’t see wrong in anyone only in myself so it’s my fault that i need more from people than they give me. so ive never really thought that i might need new friends. plus, the last time i had a relationship that actually benefitted me, it was completely unsustainable and she ghosted me because she was nothing but a tool for my emotional regulation. so it’s proof i can’t expect anything more. im basically an abuser once you get close to me